“What?” you say. This blog has only barely begun (nearly a year ago) and I’m already publishing a side piece? Actually that’s a good title for another post… side piece. Regardless, yes Dear Reader, I am going to share with you a moment of my life rather than any profound revelations that have as yet stopped themselves from jumping to the page. This small tale could give one insight however to my nature: emotionally changeable by circumstance, gleeful in vengence, covetous of sleep.

I was at a conference away from home. My husband had been on a date. That too may be a tale for another day. I had had a less than enjoyable evening surround by people yet feeling completely apart at a far too late dinner. Finally in bed and having gotten to FaceTime a goodnight to the hubs, I settled in for the night into the actually quite comfortable hotel bed. I became aware, as my mind started to calm, of noises from next door: talking, laughing, the tv. It was not quite raucous movie theater sounds but certainly more than I would expect at this high end hotel.

At three AM, the entertainment finally dissipated and I no longer needed the second pillow covering my head. Some time later my sleep deprived brain was confused by sounds: clapping… and screaming. “But why are they clapping?!?” I asked myself, so disconcerted at being awoken. Looking at my phone, reading 04:00, the dawning realization of what I was hearing tore me in two. My sex-positive feminist wanted to shout “Yas get it girl!!” But the vast tired majority of me wanted to douse them in cold water. The smacking of flesh on flesh accompanied by screams of “FUCK YES OH FUCK YES!” continued unabated until my alarm at 05:15.

I rose, put on the workout clothes I had set out the evening before and reached for the tv remote. Finding an acceptable choice, I turned the volume up on Mrs. Doubtfire until it was higher than I would have liked and left the room. A man turned back towards me from down the hall and I realized who I must be seeing: the night’s stud. I joined him in the elevator and prepared my scathing retort for the disruption. “Sounded like fun,” I said exiting at the gym floor. By his smile I could see that my addled mind had not been able to convey through my communicae that I was anything but appreciative.

After an unenthusiastic Peloton ride, I found myself faced with possibilities: do I knock on the door and tell her off? Do I call into the room and hang up? In the end, I was perhaps childish and passive aggressive in ways I generally pride myself in not being: I removed her Do Not Disturb sign (twice) and continue my serenade of elevated volume Disney movies. I also asked for late checkout so that she would have the annoyance until 14:00.

How would you have dealt with it all Dear Reader? My husband laughed and asked if the stud was cute, insinuating that possibly I would have enjoyed joining the coupulating couple had he been. Alas, not my type. His leaving so quickly after the conclusion of their fun, also left me with feelings of scorn for them; obviously this was not a romantic evening for a legitimate couple, reconnecting away from home. Yet who am I to make the judgement of what kind of tryst is worthy of condemnation? Especially with my lifestyle? That said, days later I am still ruffled by my encounter with the loud lovers. I am a Scorpio after all. With a long memory and thoughts of an incomplete revenge I am sure I will be chewing on this for a while.