The number of times I’ve been told “you should write a book” is too numerous to count. Most of the time it’s when recounting stories from my past, but several were specific that I should write about things my parents did while raising me as a <what not to do> cautionary tale. Not that they did anything horrendous and I think I turned out fine, but I guess most people weren’t threatened to be hung out upside down in the yard with jam on their face for the dogs to lick off as a possible punishment.

This is not a blog about my parents, however, and while I may recount some of the more interesting stories from my past, this also isn’t a retrospective. The is is about me, now, navigating life as a bi-woman in a hetero marriage, swinging with others, balancing professional and private lives, dealing with mental illness, and trying to be my most authentic self throughout.

As a young teen I drew a picture describing my future best self. It was me in a bed with someone. I wrote that I wanted to wear pretty suits and have sex every day. I have failed my younger self: I only own one suit (and wear the equivalent of pajamas to work every day) and it’s been years since I was having sex on the daily. I acknowledge the wisdom of her though. A desire to feel that I look good and wanting to feel pleasure regularly remain the foundation of my life.

For the purposes of this blog, my name is Jade. That’s not a falsehood but it’s also not the whole story either, nor is it my legal name currently. I’m approaching this in a -the names of this story have been changed to protect the <wicked>- manner. I am a doctor, an anesthesiologist, and live in the PNW. I am grateful to live in a more liberal part of the country as when parts of my private life have bled into my public life, I have been met with more acceptance than I think I would if I lived most anywhere else. Expect Europe. I think I’d do well in Europe and could probably have just the one life full of crazy things like social media and unguarded conversations at work.

I welcome you to join me on this explorative writing journey and I thank you in advance for your patience and kindness.

-Dr. Jade